whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
