You really coming over, don't trick.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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