I love black thongs
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
