on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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