you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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