I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
