You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
