stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
