I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
