NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
