I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
