Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
