Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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