if you like me you must not know who I am
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
