i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
