i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
