Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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