I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
