I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
