So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize