Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
