I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
