I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
