you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's never too late to be topless.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
