whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
