would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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