Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
