Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize