That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
