i think i have two assholes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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