@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
