I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Four minutes until I can fart!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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