Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
