I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
