just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
