What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize