i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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