all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
