oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
