Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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