i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize