i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
