Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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