That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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