I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
where are my eyebrows?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
