There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
