i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And then he peed in my hair
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