my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How naked do you want me to be?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
