Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
