i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
