Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
