Fuck appropriateness.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
