How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
