We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize