I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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