It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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