3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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