...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
