TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
