We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
