mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
