Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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