He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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