i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
