your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
