I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
