who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
