I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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