I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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