just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
