belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
