She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
