Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
