That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
