you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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