Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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