Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
