why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
