He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
