I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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