yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
