If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
