if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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