Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
