Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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