My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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