i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize