I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
