super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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