there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my liver is dry heaving
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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